Life as Lily
by Melanie AE
Summary: Lily Evans never thought of herself as anything more than a fan. That is, until she is sent back to the world of Harry Potter by the very author she admires. Now Lily must face the fact that she is assumed to be Lily Potter back from the dead, as well as understand the dangerous situation she has placed herself in with Voldemort, the Potions Master, and Harry Potter himself.
1. Book One

For as long as I can remember, I have always loved Harry Potter. It was an escape, a wonderful place to run away to. More than that, it was where I could read about the wonderful and amazing people that I didn't have the pleasure of knowing in my dull day to day life. Harry, Ron, Hermione, they were how I relived my childhood. I can't exactly say that my family approved, at least my sister didn't. I was sorry that I had fallen out of contract with them. But then again, they didn't seem to care that we had gone our separate ways. They had not bothered to check on me in the hospital only the day before after being hit by a car. I was lucky that the injuries had not been more severe, but that wasn't something I wanted to dwell on.

Right now, I wanted to meet the remarkable woman that was J.K. Rowling. The name of the woman that was on every single cover of the books that were pilled in my hands. My arms ached, still bruised from yesterday, but my excitement was enough to help me through the pain. The hefty smell of new books filled by nose, making me happy and content. I had never owned the actually books. Either the time had never arose or the money wasn't there when I spotted them, but I was happy that I owned them now. I had bought them after my crash yesterday and had read through all of them that night. I prided myself in my ability to read at remarkable speeds. I had always been particularly good at that type of thing.

The line trudged along slowly, making me bounce up and down with impatience. The doors to the building were now closed, no longer allowing anyone else in. I was at the very back of the line, lucky enough to slip in at the last minute. Tables were lined up in the limited space that was not taken up by book shelves, covered in bubbling plastic cauldrons, chocolates, and colorful beans. My stomach rumbled and I felt myself lick my lips.

No, I couldn't think of food right at this moment! I wanted to grasp the moment, seize the day! I was about to meet the woman who had changed my life! I wasn't about to break away from that opportunity just to supply my desire for chocolate. The lines moved again, making my heart leap. I was almost there! I wondered what would happen after this. The books had really left an impact on my life. What would I do after it was over?

The line moved along with my thoughts until I was the third person left. I practically danced in place I was so excited. The rest of the book store was silent, having been cleared out for the signing. It was past closing time, the sky outside of the bookstore an inky black. My heart pounded against the pages of my books as I was suddenly placed before J.K. Rowling herself. The person before me exited with their signed copy, eager to head home, leaving me entirely alone with her. She was looking down at her watch when I placed the large pile in front of her. I suddenly felt guilty for keeping her so late. She had her own life to get back to not to be bothering with me and my childish fantasies that heavily involved her books.

I wasn't exactly sure what I expected when she looked up at me. I wasn't expecting her to be overly nice, I was just another fan. But I certainly hadn't been expecting what came next. The moment our eyes met, Rowling let out a gasp and jerked back in her seat, teetering backwards dangerously. Shocked, I reacted instantly, springing forward and gripping her wrist to pull her back into a stationary position. She had nearly given me a heart attack! I seemed to have given her the same affect because the hand that wasn't clasped in mine was gripping her heart, her light blue eyes fixated on my green ones.

"Good Lord!" she whispered, her words shaky. Suddenly realizing that I was still gripping tightly onto her hand. I let go and stepped back, waving my hands and rambling in horror.

"Oh God I am so sorry! I really- I mean- I didn't-" I had somehow managed to mess up in the first three seconds of meeting my personal hero. That had to have been a new record. Rowling was staring at me as if she had seen a ghost, making me shut up. I bit my tongue and swallowed, trying to calm myself down. There was a long stretch of awkward silence before Rowling slowly stood, ignoring the books I had placed before her and scanning my face. It was perhaps the most unnerving experience that I had ever had to deal with.

"Who are you?" she asked, her tone not mean, but more awestruck than anything else. My face flushed a bright red at this. I knew that it was going to be embarrassing to tell her, but I didn't think that it would be as intense as this. Might as well get it over with. I inhaled and twisted my fingers together, trying to remember how to speak.

"I'm…well, my name is Lily Evans." The way Rowling's eyebrows shot up and her mouth dropped open sent me into another rambling fit. "I know that it is the same name as your character, but I swear to God it is my real name! I'm not some looney fan I swear, I just really like your books and my name is just a coincidence and- oh God, I have ID if you really need to see it." I stopped, knowing that I was sounding like a complete idiot. Rowling was still staring at me. This was not at all how I had expected my meeting with her to go. She took another long glance at me before walking around the table, shaking herself and quickly walking up to me.

"No, no, I believe you!" she said with a small laugh, her eyes still voicing shock and awe. I leaned a little ways away as she began scanning me with her eyes once more. "But…you don't just share her name, you looked exactly as I imagined her!" I blushed at this. I supposed my name wouldn't have been that bizarre if I didn't share some of the same features. I had long, silky straight red hair that fell to the middle of my back with green eyes and pail freckles dotting my nose and cheeks from their more prominent days in my childhood. I pulled on the sleeves of my sweater nervously, feeling like an utter fool. But what unnerved me more was the way Rowling was acting, as if I was some rare animal at a zoo.

"Well, I…" I really had no proper way to respond to any of this. After walking around me, Rowling stopped and bit her lip and pulling up an empty chair. "Would you sit down?" I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. So instead, I complied with her wishes and sat. She smiled down at me, looking the way I should have been, excited and bouncy. "I'll get us some food and then I would like to talk to you about my books." I could hardly get a 'thank you' out let alone an exclamation of shock. Why did she want to talk to _me_ about them? Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?

But I didn't want to be rude, and this was hardly an experience to turn down. I was pleased to see that she brought over enough chocolate to satisfy my needs along with two large mugs of what looked like an attempt at butterbeer. Finally able to thank her, I took the butterbeer as she laid the array of chocolates out on the table. Taking a seat, she patted the large pile of books I had placed on her desk and leaned towards me eagerly.

"So, Lily. Tell me what you think of my books." I blinked. Trying to collect my thoughts, I took a large sip of butterbeer, the foam giving me a white mustache. Nervously licking my lips, I tried to collect my words.

"Well, they…" Why was she looking so eagerly at me? Why did she care what I, of the millions of fans she had, thought? "I…Well, I love them!" I exclaimed, feeling my ears go a little red. Rowling beamed at me, encouraging me to go on. I felt myself gather a little more courage and I scooted forward in my seat a little. "The world you created, it is amazing! Magic, everyday witches and wizards, and Hogwarts! Not to mention your characters! All of them, they are all amazing." Rowling nodded her head, her expression becoming more thoughtful.

"Who is your favorite character?" she asked.

"Harry." I replied almost on instinct. Rowling tried to suppress a smile and I kept going, feeling more comfortable, and my excitement bubbling over. "I mean, he really is the hero. He went through so much and- " I must have gone on forever talking about Harry, eventually taking a few chocolates and speaking in between large bites. Rowling laughed at some of my responses and eat and drank while I did all the talking, sometimes asking me how I felt about this event or this person. She caught me off guard sometimes, asking questions that made my eyes grow watery. I never thought about how her books had really affected me until she went diving into the deeper parts.

I was just recovering from her inquiries about my feelings about the Potter's death when she came at me with another question. "And what do you think about Severus Snape?" That question made the tears stop almost instantly. Snape? I looked down at my butterbeer glass, the golden liquid nearly gone. I swallowed, glancing up at Rowling. She had her fingers pressed together, resting her lips against them and looking at me with intense observation. I looked away, blinking.

"Snape…" I repeated. I had never really thought about Snape, at least not as much as I did about Harry. "Well he…I feel…I am sorry that he had to die." I whispered, grasping my glass tightly. "But he was protecting Harry for…Lily." I felt my face flush brightly and I shook my head, quickly filling my mouth with chocolate so I didn't have to answer anything more about the Potions Master. Rowling nodded her head slowly before clapping her hands together, making me jump.

"Well! I think that about settles the matter!" I blinked. Thinking that she intended to send me on my way, I stood ready to collect my books. Rowling's hand rested on the pile, catching my eye. "Miss Evans, would you mind waiting here for just a moment?" I nodded my head, blinking at her in confusion.

"And please, call me Lily," I added as she turned away. Rowling chuckled, looking back at me.

"Lily. Yes, of course." She walked towards the back wall where a janitor's closet resided. I watched in utter confusion as she opened the door, entered, and closed the door behind her, swearing that she had taken something out of her sleeve to tap the door with before vanishing. I starred at the door for a moment, utterly confused. What exactly had just happened? What was she doing in there? I contemplated about sitting down but thought better of it. Curiosity pulled me away from Rowling's desk. I set my empty glass down and slowly headed towards the door, straining my ears to see if I could hear anything. Nothing. I crept closer until I was right in front of the door. I could still hear nothing behind it. I reached out, my hand gripping the handle.

I paused for a moment, thinking better of what I was doing. One more moment's hesitation before I pulled the door open. For a moment, I thought for sure that I was dreaming, or at least hallucinating from all the sugar I had consumed. When I thought of a janitor's closet, I thought of a small, confined space, littered with cleaning supplies, and dimly lit. That was not at all the space that I found before me. It was large, brightly lit, and looked as if it might be an office. The floor was made out of stone, scarlet drapes covering the walls and windows, not permitting anyone to see in. That job was reserved for the candles that floated – _floated_ – above my head. The tall ceiling was confirmation as well that I was no longer in the book store I had been in before. Books littered the floor, some of them I noticed being Rowling's own books. Potions and empty bottles covered the counters, along with some of the strangest ingredients I had ever seen. I looked back over my shoulder through the door, and sure enough found the book store there. I looked back at the strange scene I found before me, my green eyes wide.

But the strangest thing in the room were the two people standing in it, having been talking but now noticing me. Rowling was one of them, but she was now dressed in a pair of black robes which I knew she had not been wearing before. In her hand was…no, that couldn't be wand now could it? My eyes moved to the tall figure standing next to her, a wiry old man with a long silver beard, a crooked nose and half-moon glasses. His clear, watery blue eyes found mine and I felt the blood drain from my face. The man's eyes twinkled with shock and fascination and he looked down to Rowling who was beaming as she looked from her companion back to me.

"You seem to be right in your assumptions my dear Joanne," he said, his voice ringing in my ears. "I would say…you are perfectly right." Rowling nodded her head frantically, letting out a long breath.

"I thought you might think so." She said, biting her lip and trying desperately not to grin at me. I had been standing frozen in the doorway, my hand still gripping the door handle. "Do come in Lily." Rowling said, flicking her wand. The door closed, bumping me fully into the room. I heard a click from behind me and found myself trapped in the crazy situation I had found myself in. She walked towards me, resting a hand on my back and gesturing to her companion.

"I would like to introduce you to my dear friend, Albus Dumbledore."


	2. Farewell

I must have looked like a fish the way my mouth was hanging open, but I was under so much shock I had no real control of my expressions. Dumbledore chuckled, his voice echoing in my ears. I might have been skeptic of who Rowling was claiming him to be, but his voice, the way he looked down to the hem of his silvery robes were just as I had imagined he would be.

"Miss Evans, it is a pleasure," he said, walking forward and taking my hand. He didn't shake it, he simply held it in his. He seemed so fragile, his fingers nimble and boney, but there was a strength there that made me shut my mouth and look into his eyes. The remarkable old man before me looked right into my eyes, his own eyes twinkling, as if saying something to me non-verbally. I tried to compose myself as I was shaken from my trance at the squeeze of his hand.

"N-no! The pleasure is all…mine." I said, my voice sounding weak. Dumbledore smiled wisely before releasing my hand and returning to Rowling's side. My eyes fell on her, still wide but filled with questions. Rowling stifled a laugh and gripped my arms tightly, her wand pressed against me as she did so.

"You are taking this very well Lily," she said, stepping back and barely containing her grin. I looked her up and down, the black robes, the thin wand in her hand, and the light in her eyes.

"You're…a witch?" I breathed. Rowling laughed out loud at this, Dumbledore seemed bemused as well.

"You can hardly think I was able to write those books without being one did you?" she asked with a joyous look towards Dumbledore. My knees started to feel like they were made out of jell-o and I gripped one of the countertops, the room swimming before my eyes. "Oops! Albus?"

"Quite right."

The next thing I knew, I was being led to chair and being sat down. I was thankful for the sudden stillness of the world and tried to keep myself from fainting. I found a drink in my hand and hands guiding the glass to my lips. I drank heavily, the color returning to my face. I looked up to see both Dumbledore and Rowling looking at me expectantly. I had so many questions I felt as if my brain was going to explode! Knowing that I had to start channeling some of them out to receive answers, I panted after another long drink and started with, "What is this place?"

"It's my home." Rowling said, looking around at the state it was in. "Well, my other home. I can't be cooking up potions in my real kitchen. Someone might see. This is where I come when I need to be myself. I can get to it through any door so long as I use the right spell." At this she waved her wand in front of my nose. My eyes followed it, transfixed. I shook myself, my fingers gripping the glass even tighter.

"Then how did I get through?" I asked. Rowling smiled again, giving me a wink.

"I thought you might want to follow so I left the spell open." I nodded my head as if I understood, which of course I didn't.

"And…you?" I asked, looking to Dumbledore, not sure how to fraise the question about him. He smiled.

"This is where I meet Joanne whenever she needs me." He said simply. I looked at Rowling, finding enough courage to cock an eyebrow at her.

"Do you always let your characters pay you visits?" I asked, half laughing. The look Rowling and Dumbledore shared next made me feel like I wasn't understanding the big picture. Indeed, I had no idea what was really going on. Maybe the cameramen would pop out any second and announce that I was in some new hidden camera show where J.K. Rowling pulled random fans into her world.

"Albus isn't my character Lily." Rowling said, breaking my hopes that this was all a joke and that I wasn't really insane.

"Oh?" I asked, my brain not allowing me to form proper words anymore. Rowling lowered herself until she was squatting next to me, looking up into my eyes, suddenly very serious.

"Lily, everything that I had written about, it isn't fantasy. It's history. Everything that you have read, it really happened." I starred at her for a good while before she continued. "I am an author, yes, but I am also a witch. I wrote the books as a way to keep the story alive. In all honesty I didn't think the Muggles would take such a shining to them." She said this last part with a chuckle. I laughed a little to, more out of copying her then actually thinking anything was funny. I stopped when I came to the sudden realization that the world that I loved was real.

"So…witches, wizards, Hogswarts…it's all real." It was more of a statement than a question, like I was trying to bring myself to terms with what they were saying. I suddenly looked up at Dumbledore. "But this doesn't make sense! You're…forgive me Headmaster but you're…dead. Or at least that's what was in the books." I could almost see a sad shine in Dumbledore's eyes and he nodded his head.

"In your time Miss Evans I am very much gone from his world."

_My time_. My mouth opened a little in realization. "You're from…the book's time?" I asked. Dumbledore nodded his head. My brain buzzed violently. "Which one?" I asked, wanting to know what stage of the story he was in.

"Ah," Rowling said, standing up and grinning nervously from Dumbledore to me. "I am afraid he can't answer that. I am sure he will explain it to you later, but I would like to get to the point." I looked up at her in curiosity. The point? There was a point to this crazy adventure? And there I thought I was just in a lucky happenstance! Rowling walked over to a closet that was tucked behind one of the many piles of books. Grunting and pushing the pile so it toppled over, Rowling opened the closet and attempted to pull something out. For a moment I thought that she might have opened another door into another room, but she was merely trying to pull out what seemed to be a giant trunk. Finally prying it from its tiny space, Rowling tossed it onto the desk next to me. I sat up a little in my seat to look at the top of the large trunk.

The large Hogwarts crest was on the front, worn, but still in a condition that allowed me to see the four animals positioned around the large 'H'. I starred at it for a moment before standing up all the way to run my hand over the top of it, setting my glass down. Rowling lifted her wand and gave it a large swoop. Wondering what she did, I suddenly found a name appear below the crest in gold letters.

_Lily Evans. _

My eyes widened and I quickly opened the trunk without asking permission. Inside were numerous pares of robes, books on subjects I had only ever dreamed of studying, and objects that I had only ever read about in Rowling's books. I reached into the trunk and pulled out one of the robes, feeling the warm fabric beneath my fingers. Dazed, I looked up at Rowling who was pressing her hands together and watching me intently.

"What…" I said, the rest of my sentence falling flat. Rowling came to my rescue with an explanation.

"Lily, you, more than anyone else I have met, deserves this experience." She said, stepping forward and placing a hand on mine. I blinked down at her hand. Experience? I wished that I understood what was happening. I must have been coming off as a major idiot, and in front of Dumbledore! "I have been wanting to send someone back for a long time. I can't; I have to stay in this time because of the role that I have in writing the books. But you, you can go back Lily!" Back. She kept saying that word. But…no, she couldn't possibly mean…_back_! My brain suddenly clicked back on, making me whip my hand out from under hers and wave them back and forth.

"Back?! As in the books?! Or time, or whatever?" I exclaimed, my eyes bulging out of my head. Part of me wanted to scream 'yes!' but the other part of me was thinking that I would wake up from his dream any second. I backed right into Dumbledore who caught my shoulders in his thin hands.

"Would you being lying to yourself Lily if you said that you did not want to go?" he asked. Goosebumps ran up my arms at this. It was like he could hear my thoughts. I turned around, looking up at Dumbledore and then back to Rowling.

"But…why? Why send _anyone_ back?" I asked. Rowling bit her lip.

"Because Lily. It was a momentous stage in Wizarding History! They were real people. You know. You've read the books. There were people who needed to die, but there were those you didn't need to." The blood drained from my face. I thought of Dumbledore, Sirius, Tonks, Lupin, Fred…Snape.

"So…you want me to save them?" I asked. Rowling looked at Dumbledore for a moment before walking up to me again, taking my hand in hers.

"If it is in your abilities to do so, then yes. If not…live the life you have always wanted." My breath caught in my throat. The look in her eyes seemed to say everything. She knew how unhappy I was, she knew how alone I felt. It was then that I was convinced that I wanted to go back. This time, this world, it wasn't what I wanted or needed. Rowling seemed to have seen the change in my expression because she quickly pulled away and ran over to her cabinet, climbing up on piles of books to reach for a few long boxes that were tucked up near the ceiling. I stood by Dumbledore, who was unnervingly quiet during the whole exchange, and waited for her to run back to me. "You will need this." She said, handing me the box.

I took it, already knowing what it was but hardly believing it. I removed the cover and peeled back the sheer fabric to find a wand resting in the imprinted cushion. It was made of willow and was somewhere around ten inches or so. It had a simple handle which became a spiral where the base of the wand ended and the actual wand began until it returned to its simple, straight form. I curled my fingers around the base and felt a warm tingling spread from my finger up to my arm. My heart raised as I pulled it out from its velvety bed.

"Wow," I whispered, gripping the wand a little tighter. It felt like part of my arm had been restored. The feeling made me just a little bit scarred but I couldn't help but grin at Rowling.

"That was Lily Potter's wand." She said very matter of fact. I almost dropped the wand at these words but snatched it out of the air just in time. Blushing, I moved to put it back in its box but Rowling had already taken it away, leaving me to hold the priceless item in my hand. "It is yours now, I can't image anyone else owning it." She said, tossing the now empty box on the counter.

"How did you get it?" I asked, knowing that if I tried to give it back I would fail. Rowling smiled knowingly and shrugged modestly.

"As head Historian regarding Harry Potter's history I have access to certain objects." I found myself look around the room, wondering what other treasures were buried beneath the clutter. I had a sneaking suspicion that Rowling kept it messy for the purpose of making nothing look too valuable in case anyone were to find their way there uninvited.

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore said, making me jump. I turned to face the Headmaster, nervously holding my new wand. "I would ask you to think this over for just a spell," he said, eyes glinting as his little pun. "You will not be able to come back once you have left. I happen to have certain circumstances that allow me to visit Joanne, but once I take you back, I myself will not return." I looked at Rowling at these words. She seemed to look saddened by this fact but fought through with a brave smile. "You will be leaving this time and world behind, and I cannot say that it will not be dangerous." I swallowed, thinking about my family and my sister, my memories of them drifting away and proving hard for me to reach. I looked back at Dumbledore, stiffening my shoulders and tilting my chin up.

"I understand," I said. Dumbledore looked deep into my eyes for a moment before looking at Rowling.

"I think it best for us to leave now. I still have many preparations before the first years arrive."

"Yes of course," Rowling said, turning away and closing my trunk for me. I could have sworn that I saw a tear run down her cheek but it was gone the next time she turned to face me, pushing the trunk forwards for me to take. "This is everything you will need. I may have slipped you some wizard money to get you started. Just promise me you won't spend it all on sweets." She said. I laughed and found myself hugging her goodbye. She returned the hug and I suddenly found myself tearing up, as if I had known her forever. "Save them Lily, if you can," she whispered, squeezing my shoulders. I returned the tightened embrace, a silent promise that I would try. I stepped back, pulling the trunk along with my wand still in my other hand.

Rowling's gaze now turned to Dumbledore. They did not embrace, but I could tell that it was an affectionate farewell.

"It was a pleasure, Joanne." Dumbledore said, giving her a small smile. Rowling's mouth twitched in an attempt at a smile, but it was easy to tell that she was going to miss her old companion and friend.

"Take care of her, you old geezer," she said, making me laugh and Dumbledore chuckle. Only J.K. Rowling could say such a thing to the greatest wizard of all time. I felt Dumbledore's hand grip my shoulder.

"Ready yourself Miss Evans," he said lightly, still looking at Rowling. "Time travel without a time turner is a strange experience, and as it is your first time, I would suggest you hold your breath and close your eyes." I sucked in a large breath, my eyes finding Rowling's one last time.

She smiled and lifted a hand to wave goodbye. I knew for sure this time that she was crying. I felt my own eyes begin to water and I lifted my hand to wave farewell.

And then I closed my eyes.

* * *

_Hello all!_

_I cannot tell you how excited I am about writing this! This is turning out so much better than before and I hope that you are enjoying it as well. If anyone has questions go ahead and ask in the reviews and I will try and answer them at the bottom of the next chapter. Please review and tell me what you think! If you are an old or new reader, your reviews are wonderful treats for me and help me boost this story along! See you guys next chapter!_

_~Melanie_


	3. The Arrival

"You may open your eyes now Lily."

I didn't really know what I had been expecting. Maybe the feeling of being sucked down a drain, being submerged unwater perhaps? But my trip through time had been almost instantaneous. I gave credit to Dumbledore by thinking that it was his amazing talent and the fact that he had done it so many times before. I opened my eyes and released my breath, drinking in air from years before. I blinked a few times before looking around at where I was.

Dumbledore's office was the perfect personification of the man himself. The tall walls lined with books of every kind, the strange trinkets and bobbles that were placed here and there, the sleeping portraits of Headmasters past, and the stone floor that led up a pair of steps to the Headmaster's desk. An empty perch sat by his desk, a large bowl attached, most likely Fawkes' perch. I was glad that the phoenix was not there at the moment. A magical creature on top of time travel, and the fact that I was now in Hogwarts might have been a bit much for me to take in all at once.

Dumbledore stepped past me, heading towards his desk. He looked back at me with an amused smile and gestured for me to follow him. Wand gripped tightly in one hand and trunk in the other, I walked forward, eyes wide, taking in every details of the room. It wasn't until I was right up next to Dumbledore's desk that I realized that my mouth had been hanging wide open. Shutting it quickly, I stood there while Dumbledore sat down, looking up at me with a peaceful and amused expression that was only magnified by the increase of crinkles on his face.

"How are you Lily?" he asked. I swallowed any possibility of a response. He could not have possibly have asked a harder question at the moment. How was I? I was in Hogwarts! I was in a place that I had yearned for forever! I was nervous, scarred, excited, and impatient to start exploring the castle! But none of this came out in words. All I could do was give Dumbledore the largest grin I had ever given. Dumbledore chuckled and leaned back in his chair slightly.

"Good, good. It will only take me a moment to get all the preparations for your stay here done with. There is a porthole available I believe, I will send your things there at once."

I broke myself out of the excited daze I was in after hearing that I was to have my own porthole before quickly pulling a black robe out of my trunk before Dumbledore waved a hand, making the large trunk vanish. Feeling that I was more ready to play the part with a robe weighing down my shoulders, I tucked Lily Potter's wand into a pocket in my robes. "Now," Dumbledore said, seeing that I was ready and free of luggage. "There are a few things that we should go over before I let you wander." I nodded by head, remaining silent like an excited student. "The first is your reason for being here. I think it best to place you in an observant role. How would you feel as being employed as a Teacher's Assistant for the year?"

"A TA?" I repeated, speaking for the first time since I had arrived. It seemed like a perfect fit to me. Part of me wondered if Dumbledore had not picked that particular profession so that I might have the delightful joy to learn magic. The very idea made butterflies appear in my stomach. "Yes," I said quickly, "That is perfect."

"Good, good." Dumbledore said, obviously pleased that I was so enthusiastic. "In that case, you should attend the staff meeting that we are having tonight, as is customary the night before the beginning of the school year." The night before? The butterflies seemed to breed, the tickling in my stomach increasing. That meant that tomorrow night, everything started. A sudden question bubbled up, interrupting the topic of my employment.

"Professor? What book are we in? I mean, I wasn't really sure when we left and I think it best I know that way I might be more prepared and – " Dumbledore held up his hand, silencing me so fast that for a moment I thought he had cast a spell over me. But I had simply reacted immediately, sucking my lips in and holding my breath. His expression seemed pained as he lowered his hand.

"Joanne…she mentioned earlier that I was unable to answer some of your questions." He said. He was obviously choosing his words very, very carefully. He spoke much slower than before and seemed tense. "In regards to certain topics that are reserved to Joanne and yourself, I am unable to speak of upon pain of death." My face flushed and I starred in awe, not fully understanding. Dumbledore was silent for a moment before looking at me intently. "I have made an Unbreakable Vow with Joanne, promising never to speak about her…works, or any knowledge that I might have concerning upcoming events that might spoil the integrity of the story." An Unbreakable Vow? My eyes widened.

"That…that seems just a tad extreme doesn't it?" I asked, twisting my hands together. Dumbledore smiled, seemingly less tense than before.

"On the contrary, I deemed it quite necessary. I was the one who persuaded Joanne. Because of my relationship with her and how I…travel, I found it the best way to patch any damage that might have been done by my knowledge of what is to come. Do not fear Lily," he said, seeing my worried and shocked expression, "You will soon find that I have a way with words. I believe Joanne captured my ability to be cryptic in her works. I will be here if you need guidance or help. But you must know that my vocabulary on the subject will be quite limited, and that you might find yourself struggling for answers." I nodded my head, feeling terrible for bombarding him with questions that he could not answer because his life depended on it.

"I can tell you however, that among our new students we have a new member that might cause some disturbance. Mr. Potter will be facing many challenges with the attention he will receive." So we were right at the very beginning. That made me feel just a little bit better. It was like jumping into a cold pool. I wouldn't much like to dive right it, I wanted to wade it until I was accustomed to the temperature. I nodded by head to indicate that I understood. Dumbledore smiled.

"Very good. Now, seeing as you are very new here, you're TA responsibilities will move with teacher to teacher, specifically following the first year curriculum. I think that will be a very good start." I couldn't agree more. My right hand itched to try magic, but I wasn't about to take out my wand and start waving it around. Bad things happened, as I remembered from Ron Weasley's example in book two. "The staff room will be your destination tonight," Dumbledore continued, using his wand and tapping it to the surface of a plank sheet of parchment that was sitting on his desk. A map appeared in dark brown ink, a dotted line showing me a rather twisted path to the staff room. The paper floated into the air and rolled itself up, placing itself in my open palm. I couldn't help but stare. It was going to take me a long while to get used to the idea of magic being used for everyday things. "I would suggest you settle into your office," he said, and with another flick of his wand produced a small glowing ball of light. "The meeting will be tonight at nine. I hope that you have a splendid day Lily. I look forward to seeing you tonight."

I felt like I was being dismissed rather quickly, considering my situation, but he was the Headmaster. He had plenty of things to do, and because of his promise to Rowling, there was not much we could really discuss. Swallowing nervously, I thanked Dumbledore and turned to follow the ball of light out of his office.

The hallways were cold, probably from the lack of bodies to heat it. My shoes made large clapping noises on the stone floor, the sound bouncing off the equally stone walls and springing off ahead into the castle. It was quite, and yet I was utterly enchanted. The paintings either dozed in their frames or chatted quietly. A few watched as I passed with my glowing escort. I looking right back at them with wonder. A few smiled or said hello, earning a large grin from me. I picked up my pace in order to keep up with Dumbledore's orb. Just to think that all those empty hallways and passages would be filled with students made my heart beat faster.

It was almost like getting a peek behind the scenes. Hogwarts before the curtain rose. Although I couldn't exactly say that it was eventful. The orb stopped at a tall wooden door that had a plaque already on it, the name 'Miss Evans' etched into the golden metal. Wow, Dumbledore was quick. The light puffed out as I gripped the door handle and twisted, entering my office.

I half expected it to be empty, but again, Dumbledore was one step ahead of me. The room was warm, a fire already in the hearth behind a thick oak desk that had books, parchment, quills and ink wells placed on its surface neatly. A few shelves lined the walls, some books filling the rectangular spaces, along with some bottles and strange objects that could not name. A few love seats sat around a round table, glasses already sitting on its surface, a bottle of amber liquid in a crystal pitcher sitting next to them. A few cabinets and other storage areas were there as well, making the room feel complete. While it was nice and cozy, I couldn't wait to add a few things and make the space my own. I walked over to the table, picking up the crystal bottle and taking the cork out to stiff. Curiously, I took a quick swig and was surprised to find apple cider rather than alcohol. Good, I was never really one for the strong drink.

It was then that I noticed a large painting just right to my desk. I walked over curiously. It looked like water. Upon closer inspection I found that I was right. You could even see the little partials floating around in the dark water and seaweed swaying in the background. A face suddenly appeared before mine, pale and strange, sending me backwards with a scream. I bumped into my desk, making a few of the books topple over and the quills roll around, ruining the neat set up. A merman now floated in the large frame that stretched from floor to well above the top of my head. He had pale skin with a tint of green and a long scaly tail that reminded me of a shark. He had long hair that floated around him, his flat nose and small pointed teeth making me think even more of a shark. He had wide eyes that were set back into his head so the shadow of his brow made it hard to see their color. His muscled arms were crossed, looking down on me. God, my painting was intimidating. At least I wouldn't have to worry about anyone getting into my room…

"Uh," I said, stepping forward, my heart still pounding. "I'm Lily Evans…"

The mermaid said nothing, and I said nothing. It was a very productive first meeting. The merman finally sighed, bubbled escaping his mouth. It had never occurred to me that my portrait might not be able to talk. I recalled however, in book four when Harry placed the golden egg in the bathwater, the screeching language of the mermaids had translated into perfect English. In conclusion, I made the discovery that my porthole painting was a stubborn prick. I placed my hands on my hips, trying to take control of the situation.

"Alright, assuming that I have yet to make a password, I am going to make one now and you are going to let me in. Okay?" The Merman, as I had elected to call him (the portrait for the Gryffindor common room was called 'The Fat Lady' so I had no reservation on my choice of name), just blinked at me. I was going to take that as a yes. "Rowling." I said confidently. The portrait swung open, leading into my room. Feeling rather proud of myself, I stepped inside and found a fairly well sized room. My trunk was already on my bed. Another hearth was in there as well, making it toasty and warm. A wardrobe stood against the far wall and a mirror occupied the other. It was a simple room, but it was all I really needed.

I flopped down onto my bed, which was right next to a window allowing me a very nice view of the grounds, and let out a large and happy sigh. I noticed on the stand next to my bed was a smaller frame, where The Mermaid had appeared, swimming in the background after some fish. I supposed he needed to be able to get to me if anyone came into my office. I rolled over, hugging my pillow and letting the butterflies in my stomach do as they pleased. I was in Hogwarts. _Hogwarts! _It was too good to be true, and yet, here I was. I closed my eyes and smiled, placing my face into my pillow and breathing in its clean scent, happier than I had ever been.

* * *

I opened my eyes to notice the light in my room was significantly darker than it had been before. For a moment, I really wondered where I was. Then I remembered. I giggled into my pillow, resting in a drunken post-sleep state before I shot up. The staff meeting! I scrambled out of bed, my body aching for having curled up into a ball my trunk having taken up most of the space. I flipped the trunk open and hunted for a comb, thankful that Joanne had taken into accounts to back toiletries, and pulled the fine toothed brush through my hair. I couldn't very well show my face to the staff members with my hair tangled from a lazy nap!

I tossed the comb back into my open trunk and tried to unwrinkled my clothes. There was probably a spell for it, but like the wanna-be witch I was, I had no idea what it might be. Flying out of my porthole, I yanked the door to my office open and took off. The map Dumbledore made for me didn't seem to have been affected by being wrinkled from my nap to my good fortune, although I got lost multiple times. The castle was huge! Breathlessly I tried to find a clock, but there was none to be found. Only the large one that was well out of my line of sight. Nearly giving up, I stopped to catch my breath when I heard voices. Holding my breath to hear better, I jogged around a corner to see a few figures rounding the next one.

Teachers! They had to be, there was no one else to roam around the castle at this time of night! I followed them, suddenly growing very cautious. I remembered Rowling's reaction to me and thought that I should wait. Then again, I was how Rowling _imagined_ Lily Potter. That didn't mean that I actually _looked like_ the real woman. All the same, I resorted to sneaking after the two teachers. After rounding their corner, I was able to identify them.

"I do hope that you had a pleasant summer Professor Snape," a tall, female teacher asked, her hat extending her height well above the man next to her. Snape. She had said _Snape_. My mouth grew dry and I walked a few yards behind them, the stone walls bouncing their words back to me.

"About as much pleasure as I usually do." The nasally voice said. I starred at the back of Snape's head, his long black hair the only recognizable feature. Well, that and his voice. I must have been starring too intently, because the inky black silhouette of Professor Severus Snape stopped. I stopped and well and practically dived behind a pillar indent in the wall.

"Professor?" the female teacher asked, who I pinned as McGonagall, her Scottish accent making me sure of it. There was a long pause, as if Snape was scanning the hallway.

"Let us get this over with." He replied bluntly. Their footsteps continued until there was the sound of the opening and closing of a door. I let out a breath, my heart banging against my ribs. What the hell was I doing? Playing Cloak and Dagger in Hogwarts. It was ridiculous. I was acting like a school girl, hiding from the teachers. But part of me just didn't feel ready. It was all about to become so real. I was debating heading back to my office when the large clock of Hogwarts decided for me. It gonged, shaking me to the bone. It was most likely nine o'clock right then. Snape didn't really strike me as the type to show up early. I removed myself from my hiding spot and ran to the end of the hall to find…another closet.

What was it with wizards and closets? Then again, it made sense to hide the main staff room from the students. This was probably the spot where they went to relax when they wanted to hide from students, rather than go to the hotspot where they would be found out. I stood outside as the clock sent out a fourth gong. At the last second, I made the very mature decision to stuff my hair into the collar of my cloak and flip my hood over my head. The instinct to hide myself was overwhelming, but I was unable to quell it.

With a large breath, I gripped the door knob.

And with the ninth gong, I opened the door.


	4. Rocky Start

Just like Rowling's secret meeting place with Dumbledore, the closet was much larger on the inside. I thought that I might have gotten used to it, even though I had only witnessed it once, but I still starred wide-eyed at the room before me. It was large, the ceiling stretching very high, tall bookshelves covering most of the walls. Multiple fireplaces dotted the scene along with paintings hanging above them. Tall windows let in natural light, not that it was light outside at the moment, and were framed by thick, velvety curtains that had been pulled aside. Comfortable seats were placed in circles near every fire, providing small places for the teacher's to congregate. Although, that was not where everyone was congregating at the moment.

They were all seated, or standing around, at a long table that was placed in such a way that I was looking down the length of it. It did not seem that the meeting had started yet, probably because Dumbledore was not there. I recognized everyone, to the point where it scared me. The door closed behind me, but no one turned to look. It seemed that my hood was doing its job. I nervously made my way over to one of the cushioned chairs, not yet ready to join the rest of the staff. I picked up a random book that had been placed on the table and pretended to be deeply interested. After a few minutes, I actually had become interested. It was a potions book I suddenly realized. It was mostly instructions, but I found it extremely fascinating. I wondered what level this book was. Certainly nothing I would be learning this year.

"Do you find it polite to read other people's books?"

I jumped, nearly dislodging the book from my lap. I didn't need to look up to know that it was Snape who stood over me. I bowed my head so my hood only allowed me to see the hem of his black robes. Crap. Of course it was Snape's book I had started snooping in. I shut it and set it back on the table where I had found it. I witnessed Snape's hand take his property, his long fingers curled. He was probably irritated. Well, when was Snape never irritated?

"So, the new DADA teacher has a sense of mystery." Snape said, practically spitting the words. I felt my face flush red.

"You are mistaken," I mumbled, tugging my hood. "Professor Quirrell is the new DADA teacher." I could hear Professor Quirrell not too far away, his stuttered and broken conversation feeble and weak. I couldn't tell my Snape's feet if he was looking at Quirrell or at me, but I wasn't about to take the chance to sneak a peek at the Potion's Professor.

"That stuttering idiot?" he asked, although I didn't think I was meant to answer. That was right, Snape always wanted the job of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I gripped my hands in my lap, begging Snape to go away in my head. I waited for him to ask who I was, but his feet shifted and he was gone without so much as another word to me. I let out a deep breath, grateful that our encounter was over.

It was then that the door to the Staff Lounge opened again, and based on the hush that came over the teachers, Dumbledore had arrived. I stood, lifting my head. Dumbledore's eyes met mine and he smiled, either because he was happy I had made it, or because I looked ridiculous with my hood up indoors. I moved towards the table with the rest of the teachers, pulling up a random seat and sitting down, remaining perfectly still, as if I would just melt into the background. I noticed there was golden plates and silverware in front of me, all clean and foodless. My stomach let out a small, hungry squelch, making me realize how hungry I really was. After everyone was seated, Dumbledore, from the head of the table, stood and smiled at everyone. I lifted my head a little, allowing me a slim view of Dumbledore.

"Welcome back everyone! I hope that you all had a good, relaxing summer." The teachers clapped, making me lift my own hands and politely clap along with them. "I wish to thank you all for your hard work, both outside of Hogwarts and within." A chill ran down my spine as a sensed Dumbledore's double meaning. Many members at the table had helped with the challenges that protected the Stone. Was it below them right now? My feet buzzed, as if the Stone's power was making the floor vibrate. "That being said and done, I only have two announcements for us this evening, and then we may commence with our dinner. Our first announcement, I wish to welcome Professor Quirrell who will be taking up the duties of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." I was too busy trying to get a proper look at Quirrell to clap for him. I leaned forward in my chair and caught a glimpse of the pale man on my side of the table.

He looked around, giving everyone a twitchy smile, his turban secured on his head. It was hard to believing that this frail man was harboring the Dark Lord on the back of his skull. He was a very good actor. I heard a displeased breath across from me and suddenly realized that Snape was sitting right across from me. He had clapped for Quirrell maybe once or twice, but his arms were now crossed. It was the first time that I had seen his face. Something about it seemed to make me jolt, earning a few curious glances from those sitting next to me. I snatched my goblet and ducked it under my hood and take a long drink from it, hoping to cool myself down. Was it hot in here? Was it the fires? Or was I just terrified out of my wits.

"And we have a rather new job for our new employee," Dumbledore said. I froze, setting the goblet down. I didn't want Dumbledore to introduce me, not like this anyway. But it had to happen, and my neck was already killing me from being bent for so long. I couldn't keep this up all evening let alone all year! "She will be our new Teacher's Assistant and will be shadowing you all for the first year curriculum. This may seem an inconvenience, but I promise you all, she is very talented." Don't make any promises Albus! I thought desperately, I haven't even cast my first spell yet!

"Headmaster, you are being unusually cryptic about our newest member of staff," I heard McGonagall call out, her 'r's rolling off her tongue. Dumbledore chuckled.

"Yes, I am aren't I. Come now dear, remove your hood. I think you and I have had our fun." I didn't move to pull my hood down. My face and hands had gone a milky white.

"We don't bite!" one teacher called out, making everyone else chuckle. I licked my lips and smashed my eyes shut. Do it. Just do it. Like a Band-Aid. Quick and painless. One. Two. Three! I raised my hand and yanked my hood back, revealing my face. Perhaps whipping it off had been a bit dramatic, but it was easier than trying to play calm. I did not look up at anyone.

The room was dead silent.

The silence should have been confirmation that I was right. Rowling had simply imagined me looking like Lily Potter. The silence should have told me to relax. The silence should have made me feel better. But it didn't. It was an unnatural, stiff silence, as if everyone in the room had stopped breathing. Someone should have jokingly said, 'There, that wasn't so bad!' but no one said a word. I finally looked around, straightening my back and neck. Most of the staff was ogling at me with wide eyes, their mouths open. Something was wrong. I hadn't been right. Rowling had. I looked very much like Lily Potter.

I moved my eyes to Snape who, ironically, was not even paying attention. He had tuned out the entire conversation to drink from his flask, his dark eyes glaring at Quirrell. It was Quirrell's shocked gaze that was pointed at me that eventually led to Snape's eyes to turn to me. He choked on his water, slamming his goblet down and coughing, spluttering, pounding his chest. I stared at him, leaning back in my chair. The abrupt sound from Snape broke the spell over the rest of the staff. Everyone started talking at once, a few members standing up. I shrank away, looking at Dumbledore with pleading eyes.

The old wizard stood, and in a booming voice I did not believe could come from such an old man, yelled, "Silence"! The effect was immediate. The talking stopped, but it did nothing to stop the stares that felt as if they were burning holes into my skin. Dumbledore suddenly looked tired, but still kept control over the staff.

"Our newest member of staff, ladies and gentlemen, is Lily Evans." Everyone might have started talking again that the mention of my name, but Dumbledore's pointed look stopped anyone from even trying. "I am aware that there is a likeness between that of Lily Potter and Miss Evans –"

"Likeness!" McGonagall interrupted. "Albus! They are practically the same person!"

"They share the same surname!" Flickwick piped up. The talked began again, and in the whole of this, Snape had not taken his eyes off me. I turned my head and accidently made eye contact. It was as if I had been stabbed with a white hot poker. I didn't know what I had expected when I eventually met the Potions Master, but the expression on his face was not at all what I had been expecting. Hatred. Loathing. I thought he might leap across the table and strangle me, or at least whip out his wand and place some horrible curse on me. No, I hadn't been expecting that at all.

"Please!" Dumbledore boomed, once again removing any other voice but his own. He succeeded in glaring at everyone in the room before sighing. "Miss Evans, however alike to Mrs. Potter, is in need of a job. She will be attending every class a first year would, shall help with the curriculum, and shall cause no trouble." At this last part Dumbledore looked right at me as if to ask 'Right Miss Evans'? I nodded my head, trying to untangle my tongue. "I would ask that you not cause any trouble for her in return. Thank you." And with that, he sat down.

Food magically appeared on the plates before us, as if trying to get the attention away from me. In order to do that, it would need to dance, or at least do back flips, I thought. I started picking at the pile of food on my plate, the idle chit chat starting, when I heard the scrapping of chair legs on the stone floor. I looked up to see Snape leaving the table and exiting the Staff Lounge. No one seemed to notice, so it could be that he never stayed for the Staff meeting dinner, but I had the nagging feeling that he had left because of me. No one, not after Dumbledore's speech, looked at me or tried to talk to me and I was perfectly fine with that. I was left with my own thoughts and the memory of Snape's expression, sending chills down my spine. I was unsure how alike to Lily Potter I was, rather than looks, but I got the uneasy feeling that I was left with her unfinished problems.

* * *

I walked back to my office, feeling sluggish, either from the food or the stress I felt pressing down on me. It wasn't even the first day of the term and things already seemed to be getting crazy. Quirrell had tried to strike up a conversation with me, something that I had avoided with cryptic answers and simple affirmative or negative noises. I didn't want to talk to him, it creeped me out and I had felt Dumbledore's eyes on me during the whole encounter. He would probably give me a lecture later about who I shouldn't talk to.

Even though I had taken a nap earlier, I was ready to crawl into bed and to let everything melt away. The craziness of the evening had really taken its toll and sleep seemed to be the only cure. I finally reached my door and…Wait, hadn't I shut it when I left? I froze, seeing the door silently open. Sure, I had been in a rush earlier, but I remembered the distinct slam of the door behind me. And there was no mistaking the noise that was coming from the inside.

I crept forward, pulling my wand out of my pocket. I had no idea how to use it, but it made me feel a little more powerful. And if it really came to it, I could always use it to stab my intruder in the eye. I stepped closer. There was rustling and the sound of someone being very careless with my new office. I gripped the handle and opened the door just a tad. It squeaked. That one little squeak, I knew, would be my undoing because the noise inside stopped. Nothing for it. I opened the door rapidly and jumped it, but my attacker was prepared.

The next thing I knew, the door slammed shut and I was thrown against the wall, hand on my throat, wand pressing into the underside of my jaw. I gasped from breath and starred right back at my attacker. I hadn't even considered who it might be, perhaps Quirrell, but I had not been expecting…Snape. I blinked, as if I was hallucinating the dark hair, pale skin, long nose and black eyes filled with fury. My head spun, probably from being smashed into a wall, but also from confusion. What was Snape doing here? I looked past his angered face to see my potion supplies scattered about, by drawers open, books tossed to the floor.

"Who are you?" Snape snarled. My attention was quickly drawn back to him and I opened my mouth in shock. My potions, my books…did he think I had Pollyjuiced myself? I took in a breath to speak, but his wand pressed farther into my skin. Ouch, that would leave a bruise. "You will find that I don't like to play games, so tell me the truth, and tell it quickly." This was not the composed Potions Master I had read about in the books. He was out of his mind! I wasn't a fan of being attacked, and I didn't care that he was one of the most important characters in the story. Wand be damned, I thrust my fist into the side of Snape's face.

He had obviously not been expecting it and released me, stumbling back. I took in a large breath that was not prevented by a stick or a hand at my throat. Snape stood up straight, dazed by the blow. Anger suddenly over took me.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?!" I yelled, panting. "You can't just come in here and go through my stuff!" I took a step towards him, poking him violently in the chest. His face was shocked and his wand arm hung limply by his side. "And then you threaten me?! What is your deal? I'm here one bloody day and already I've got people snooping around my things and my life! I just wanted to come here and enjoy myself and help! But no! I get the Potions Master with the –" I had been about to say _'Lily Potter obsession'_, but I stopped myself just in time. I couldn't let on that I knew anything, not one detail. Things would only get worse if I did. I released my lip, which I had been biting down on before stamping my foot and letting out a large breath of air.

"Get. Out." I said, with such constrained force Snape only looked at me for a long moment before turning and leaving the room. I glared after him before walking over and closing the door. I groaned, rubbing my forehead and turning to look at the mess. I wished once again that I knew how to clean up a mess with the wave of my wand, but all good things would come in time. I ignored the mess for now and went to lock my door, only to remember that common locks didn't do much against magic. Damn wizards.

I walked over to The Merman, who had just swam into his frame. "Well a fat lot of help you were," I snapped. The Merman simply cocked on eyebrow at me. I glared and muttered, "Rowling" under my breath. I entered my room and undressed, not wanting to sleep in my robes again. I shoved my trunk under the bed and flopped down, my red hair splayed out around me. Why was I here again? Why did I think this would be easy? I thought about it for a moment before standing up and walking back into my office to grab a piece of parchment and a quill. I sat down at the desk and began to write. Writing with a quill was much harder than I had thought, but after a few minutes, I got the hang of it. Taking the parchment, I set it on my bed side table. Written on it was a list of names.

Cedric Diggory

Sirius Black

Albus Dumbledore

Alastor Moody

Dobby

Fred Weasley

Remus Lupin

Nymphadora Tonks

Lavender Brown

Colin Creevy

Severus Snape

Out of spite to what just happened, I had put a large line through Snape's name. But these people were why I was here. They didn't have to die, but they did. It surprised and saddened me how I knew everyone who had died, at least those with names. I knew that many more had died. But I couldn't save everyone. But I might be able to save those on my little list. I looked away from my daunting task to look up at my roof, pulling the covers over my body. It would be there every morning, to remind me why I was there.


	5. Hagrid

I woke earlier than I wanted to, the sun barley peeking up over the glistening grounds. It must have rained during the night. The grass sparkled, giving the impression that even the grass was magical. I leaned against the window, watching as the sun slowly started to rise. The Sorting and the feast wouldn't be starting until the evening, leaving me without anything to do. Except cleaning my office. I groaned, letting my head fall into my arms.

I pushed off the sill and walked over to my porthole, stretching and tussling my hair. I was lucky enough to get a good nights sleep. The mess waiting for me in my office would take up most of my day. I glowered as I pushed my porthole open, remembering who had caused the mess. I ground my teeth together in anger as I walked into my office. What met me was a spotless floor, an organized desk with shelves to match. The mess that had been there last night was now gone. I froze in the entryway, blinking. It was as if it had never happened.

I let The Merman's painting swing shut and gingerly stepped inside. What on earth? The only new addition was a small note that sat on my desk. I walked over and picked it up. Had Snape come back and cleaned up his mess? I wasn't sure how to feel if he did, but the note was not from the Potions Master.

_Miss Evans,_

_ I wish to grant my sincerest apologies regarding what happened last night. I have restored your office to its original state and have spoken with Professor Snape. I hope you enjoy your last day before the term begins._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Professor Dumbledore _

I smiled a little, touched that Dumbledore, what with his busy schedule, would take the time to clean up Snape's mess. I couldn't help but wonder what he had told Snape, but I suppose I didn't really need to know. But I had no intention of talking to the Potion's Master anytime soon after last night's events. I set the note back down and walked back into my room to get ready.

It almost felt as if I was preparing for a dance the way I fussed over myself. I combed through my hair, washed my face, and went through every article of clothing that was in my trunk. I made a mental note to buy some more robes and clothes. Most of what Rowling had packed in the trunk fit, but it was all unisex and uniform. I supposed she couldn't have known if she was packing for a man or a woman. But I had the money she had given me and upcoming paychecks. I needed to personalize myself. For the feast that night I settled for a pair of plain black robes with a white collar. I peered at myself in the mirror located in the door of my wardrobe and crinkled my nose. I looked like a priest. Oh well, it would have to do for now.

I had started to make my bed when I saw movement come from the grounds below. I crawled across the newly made bed and looked down. It was an unmistakable shape. A large, hairy man heading towards the edge of the forest to what looked like a hut. Hagrid. He hadn't been at the meeting last night and I made a split second decision to run down and meet him. I ran out of my room and then my office, making sure the door was closed and giving the lock a scowl. The first thing I would research was a locking spell. I took off through the castle, eager to catch up with the giant. I needed something to keep me distracted. There was so much to think about, to worry about, and I wanted to limit how much stress I let in on my brain.

I found my way to the staircases, which were loud and booming. I stood for a moment, watching as they moved and crashed into place. I knew that I could easily get to the bottom floor by way of the stairs, but they were extremely intimidating. Sucking in my breath, I took off, moving as quickly as I could before my selected staircase moved into a new position. I eventually reached the bottom floor and found my way outside. Only a few hours and the castle would be filled with the sounds of students. It would be a nice change, Hogwarts felt hollow without students filling its halls.

I shivered as the wind pushed across the still damp ground. Pulling my robes a little tighter around my body, I jogged across the grounds, trying not to slip on the moist ground. I felt very small outside the castle with its large stone walls towering over me. I turned around, looking up at my new home. I couldn't help but smile a little, my chest puffing out with pride. I turned back around and took off at a run, eager to reach Hagrid's hut.

It was cozy and small, perched right on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. It didn't look that bad in the early morning sunlight, but I knew that when night rolled around, it would be the last place anyone wanted to go. Trying not to step on any of Hagrid's plants, I wasn't sure where the garden began and where it ended, I found the stone steps leading up to his front door. I knocked on the thick wood and almost immediately, large booming barks responded to my knocks. I jumped back a little as the barks were joined by an equally loud voice. "Fang! Get back yer' great mutt!" I couldn't help but laugh a little as the sound of a struggle ensued behind the door.

"Should I come in?" I called. It didn't sound like Fang was letting up much. A few grunts and a bang later, I received an affirmative answer. I grabbed the large ring and pulled. I jumped inside and quickly shut the door. Hagrid was holding onto Fang's collar, the dog clawing at the floor in an attempt to get to me. I looked up at Hagrid, who saw me. He really was huge, his big, hairy head stooped so as not to hit his head on hanging vegetables. He blinked, his dark eyes widening. His hold loosened on Fang in that moment and the slobbery dog took the opening. I let out a squeal and a laugh as the huge dog bounded towards me. His paws found my shoulders and the next thing I knew I was pinned to the door with a large wet nose nuzzling my face.

"Down Fang!" Hagrid boomed, pulling his dog off me. I laughed, wiping my face with my robe sleeve.

"Nice to meet you Fang." I said, grinning. Fang seemed to have settled down a little after having giving me his idea of a welcome. Hagrid pushed him back with his large hand, clearing his throat and looking at me with a mild expression of surprise. I cleared my throat and pulled on my sleeves.

"Uh, hi. I'm Lily." Hagrid was the only person who didn't respond with silence. He quickly scratched his beard and began avoiding my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Dumbeldore told me about yer'."

"He did?" I asked. Hagrid nodded, making an attempt at a smile.

"Yeah. I don't go to those er, staff meetin's. Not really staff so…" I smiled back, looking down at my shoes.

"Well, I just wanted to get the chance to meet you." I reached forward, holding out my hand. Hagrid hesitantly shook it, more like my whole arm, before dropping his large hand. Pressing my lips together, I turned to leave, feeling extremely awkward.

"Wait!" Hagrid said quickly. I turned, surprised by the sudden exclamation. Hagrid scratched his beard again. "I was just 'bout to make myself a pot o' tea. Would be a shame to let you head out without giving you a cup or two." I blinked, a genuine smile finding its way to my face.

"I would love that."

He gestured to one of his large seats and I sat, watching him as he worked to make the tea. The fire made me start to sweat in my black robes and I tugged on my collar. Fang padded over, resting his large head on my knee, coating it with a layer of drool. I just smiled and rubbed his head much to his pleasure. A few minutes later, Hagrid placed a large mug in front of me, steaming with fresh tea. Murmuring a thank you, I picked it up and look a long sip. It was a strange taste, most likely made from a herb that I had never heard of. It was quiet, except for the crackling of the fire and the slurping of tea. Swallowing another mouthful of hot tea, my eyes watering, I tried to strike up conversation.

"So…I just wanted to come by. Dumbledore told me about you and…" I trailed off. Hagrid set his mug down and gave me a very intense stare. I recoiled a little, gripping my mug tightly in both hands.

"I trust Dumbledore. With my life, I do. But when it comes to you 'Miss Evans', I just…I don't know…" My face turned red. I looked down into the mug, feeling suddenly embarrassed about having shown up at Hagrid's home.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to…" To what? To be myself? I come see someone I admired? No, I wasn't sorry. I was angry that everyone was so suspicious of me. I glared down at my tea. Fang whined, his head still rested on my knee.

"But then again…" I looked up slightly. Hagrid was looking at me, stroking his beard. "Fang doesn't usually take so well to imposers."

"I'm not an imposter!" I said, nails scrapping the clay mug. "I can't be, because I am not…who everyone thinks I am." At this, I looked up at Hagrid, determination in my eyes. "I'm not Lily Potter." Hagrid looked at me for a long moment before leaning back in his chair.

"Could have fooled me," he said with a twinkle in his eye. I knew that his comment was supposed to be kind and comforting, but for some reason, it made my stomach drop. "And anyway, it seems to me like you could use a friend right about now." I laughed, my expression turning into one of desperation. It was true. I had come there to avoid feeling alone, but at the moment, I felt very much alone. Hagrid's gesture was the most comforting thing since I had arrived. His warm smile set me at ease and I could tell that he had tossed aside any suspicions. Dumbledore's word really meant that much to him. We talked for a while about idle things, what I might be expecting as a TA, how to get around the castle, what the holidays were like there. It wasn't until we actually reached the topic of students that things got strange.

"You'll love the little blighters," Hagrid chuckled. "Most of 'em are good kids. Can't blame the rotten ones really. Parents have more to do with it, but every now and again you get gems. Take 'arry for example-"

"Harry?" I said, finishing off another mug of tea. Hagrid stopped. I could tell he was hesitant about breaching the topic of Harry Potter, but my eagerness overtook any hesitation on my part. "What is he like?" I asked, pushing my mug forward for a refill. Hagrid hesitate for a moment, pouring me some more tea before relenting.

"He's a good boy. Can't condone the guardians though." I smiled a little, thinking of the pig tail Dudley was probably sporting right at that moment. "Took him out to Diagon Alley just yesterday. Quite the boy. He'll do well 'ere." Better than just 'well', I thought, pulling my full mug back towards me. Hagrid eyed me curiously. "Might I…give a word of advice?" I blinked, licking my lips and nodding. Hagrid scratched his head and tapped his finger tips on the table. "'Arry…well, he's a sensitive boy. Didn't grow up with much. And with all the talk that's going around…'bout you…" I felt my stomach drop painfully and my face once again turned read. I quickly interrupted.

"I would never do anything to give Harry…false hope." I said, as much as it pained me to say it. Hagrid gave me a sympathetic smile.

"You say that like you know 'im." I looked down at my mug again, sighing. More than you would ever know, I thought sadly.

The flow of conversation slowed to a stop after that and I excused myself. The day had slipped away and I was happy that I had gone to visit Hagrid, even though it had started off rather rocky. I told Hagrid I would see him at the feast and gave Fang a quick rub down before leaving his hut behind. The sky was orange, nearing on purple. The evening was arriving, and the feast would soon follow. The butterflies returned to my stomach as I thought about the upcoming evening. All the same, I did a little skip as I reentered the castle, gleefully anticipating the next few hours.


End file.
